Mars vs Venus =)

Fine, Im eavesdropping!
But I cant help it when they are talking loud enough for the whole cafe…

Anyways, sitting next to me in this China cafe are 2 ladies and 1 guy
Somewhere along their conversation, words like “marriage” and “love” from one of the ladies caught my attention.

She started discussing passionately about the kind of man she’s looking for. And she spoke in disdain about the men nowadays, citing them as weak, unmanly and lacking in drive. Egged on by the other lady comrade who was agreeing with her every single sentence, the one lone man in the group has no choice but to fight back, for the integrity of all male species.
Thus, a great conversation for me to eavesdrop on. =)

Two interesting points that this lady brought up (and the poor guy valiantly fought against)
1. She felt that she needed in a man, the vision to want to do better with the drive and perseverance to want to achieve his/her goals.

I smiled inwardly when I heard this.
Yes I was guilty!
This used to be something on my “want” list too.

That is, until I realized the fatality of this theory.
Because, at the end of the day, you’re falling in love with the POTENTIAL of this man
The man that YOU envision him to be (in your mind)
The man that he might/might not eventually become
And definitely not the man that he is right now…

So basically, you’re falling in love with the “him” you’ve painted in your mind
And the frustration (from both parties) of trying to mould and fit into that picture that’s been painted is mind-blogging…

Trust me, I’ve been there!
And Im really sorry I’ve ever tried to do that!

2. She wanted a knight in shining armor - someone who protects her from all problems, someone to make her happy when she’s upset, someone who always listens to her.

I’m sure to a lot of girls, this is almost mandatory.
Okays, maybe not the armor!
But shouldn’t a boyfriend do all the above in a relationship?

Hmm… maybe
But doesn’t this makes the lady very needy?
She’s making her partner liable for her emotions and her happiness, which doesn’t seem fair to me and seems over-whelming to the guy.

I feel it all boils down to emotional maturity.
Of course it feels good when someone you care listens to your problems or makes you happy when you’re upset. But it shouldn’t be a given and something that the ladies take for granted.
The ownership of our emotions should belong ultimately to ourselves. We should have the capacity to be happy, with or without someone else.

I think the ladies wouldn’t like it too, if the guys starts to whine and complain about their own problems at their date, and then expect us to cheer them up and take their problems away, right?

Anyways, eventually the poor guy slumped back in his seat and kept quiet while the ladies yakked away.
He finally got the point that the ladies are definitely not listening to whatever he is saying!